The Ripple Effect of Vulnerability: Transforming Pain into Purpose and Legacy

Midlife Catalyst Podcast Episode 17 and Other Random Updates

Jun 29, 2025

Housekeeping:

As I said in the podcast release post on Thursday, I’m working to get back into more writing on Substack, but I will continue to house podcast show notes, summaries, and resources here on this platform. Everything in the content creation game changes by the minute, and it’s all a learning curve for this Gen Xer. Be sure to tune in next week, as I reflect on my first year in this journey.

Moving forward, this release will come on the same day as the podcast, but I’m taking a page out of Emily’s book and showing myself some grace this week on not having everything all together. Just in case you hadn’t heard….WE ARE THE F@&$ CHAMPS - JWILL! I feel so fortunate to have been in The City during this magical playoff run; it was undoubtedly worth sacrificing my sleep schedule to see a much-deserved championship come to OKC.

NBA Champs Baby! The image of the team bus in front of the Bombing Memorial is truly moving!

I learned so much about life and leadership from the second youngest team to ever win an NBA championship. It’s been 30 years since I was sitting in senior English with my classmates watching the news reports of the OKC Bombing. It was a dark time in our state and our country. It was the beginning of no longer feeling safe in federal buildings, schools, malls, movie theaters, and on planes. A lot has changed in thirty years, but my love for this City has only grown. We may be a small market, but we have huge hearts and character, and that’s what’s most important in life. If you plan on visiting the Champs or haven’t had enough basketball and are headed to Vegas for the summer league, check out my Benable List!

Check out my. benable for OKC recommendations!

Episode 17 Summary:

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect them. One moment, we're cruising along, thinking we've got it all figured out, and the next, we're faced with challenges that shake us to our core. But in these moments of adversity, we truly discover what we're made of.

I recently had the privilege of sitting down with Emily Williams Kelly, a remarkable woman from my hometown whose journey through loss, addiction, and recovery has left an indelible mark on my heart. As we talked, I couldn't help but marvel at her resilience and grace in the face of unimaginable hardship.

The Ripple Effect of Loss

Emily's story began with the sudden loss of her father in 2002. At just 27 years old, she found herself grappling with a pain she'd never experienced before. Like many of us, her initial response was to numb the pain.

"At that point in my life, I was very heavy into my alcoholism," Emily shared. "And so for me, my coping mechanism at that point was, well, I'm just gonna drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. And thinking that that would help."

It's a familiar story for many of us. When faced with overwhelming emotions, it's tempting to seek escape rather than confront our pain head-on. However, as Emily discovered, this approach often leads us down a darker path.

Share Midlife...Don't Call it a Crisis

The Turning Point: Choosing Sobriety

Emily's journey to sobriety wasn't a straight line. It was filled with stumbles, relapses, and moments of clarity that ultimately led her to make a life-changing decision.

"I hit my rock bottom," she recalled. "Well, I think I hit many rock bottoms. I mean, let's be honest. I don't think we buy into the 'there's one big rock bottom' because that wasn't it for me."

It was on April 21, 2009, that Emily took her first step towards a sober life. But even then, she understood the fragility of her newfound sobriety.

"I always told my mom, she would be like, 'I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud.' And I was like, 'Mom, don't be too proud, because I'm just one drink away.'"

Many in recovery understand this awareness, this constant vigilance, all too well. It's a daily choice, a commitment to ourselves and our loved ones to stay on the path of sobriety.

Finding Purpose in Pain

As Emily shared her story, I was struck by how she's managed to find purpose in her pain. Despite losing both her parents and her brother, she's channeled her grief into a life of service and compassion.

Now an assistant principal, Emily approaches each day with a simple yet powerful mantra: to be better than she was yesterday.

"I think back to my mom, my dad, and Bart, and I look at all of those and think, what was the main thing between all of them? And it was just to help. Like, just to be a servant to someone that might need something better," Emily reflected.

The Power of Perspective

One of the most profound lessons Emily shared was about the power of perspective. Through her experiences with loss and recovery, she's gained a unique ability to put life's challenges into context.

"I think it could be worse," Emily said, describing her approach to difficult situations. "The level of perspective, I think, unfortunately, that bad things show you is... sit next to someone dying of cancer. I don't think this is earth-shattering right here."

This perspective isn't about diminishing our current struggles but finding gratitude in the midst of difficulty. It's about recognizing that every day we wake up is a gift, an opportunity to make a difference.

Embracing Imperfection and Growth

Perhaps the most inspiring aspect of Emily's story is her willingness to embrace her imperfections and continue growing. She's not ashamed of her past but sees it as part of her journey.

"I'm a hundred percent proud of my journey, and I hope that makes sense," Emily shared. "Like, you know, my past does not define me."

We can all strive for this mindset of continuous growth and self-improvement. It's about showing up for ourselves daily, making small adjustments, and gradually building an authentic and fulfilling life.

The Ripple Effect of Authenticity

As our conversation drew to a close, I was struck by the ripple effect of Emily's authenticity. By sharing her story openly, she's healing herself and providing hope and inspiration to countless others.

"I think that you have a platform, and I think that the people that you touch and inspire are... I think it's amazing. It's so broad," Emily said, reflecting on the impact of sharing our stories.

And isn't that what we all hope for? To know that our experiences, even the painful ones, can serve a greater purpose? By being open about our struggles and triumphs, we can light the way for others.

As we navigate the complexities of life, let's take a page from Emily's book. Let's approach each day with gratitude, strive to be better than we were yesterday, and never underestimate the power of our stories to inspire and heal.

Remember, with all its twists and turns, your journey is uniquely yours. Embrace, learn from, and use it to create a legacy of hope and resilience. After all, isn't that what living authentically is all about?

This episode is for anyone who's faced adversity, struggled with addiction, or needs a reminder that redemption is possible. Join us for a conversation that will challenge you to reflect on your journey and find strength in vulnerability.